August 21, 2011 - what would have been my dad's 56th birthday. Cort attended Church with me this morning and it was nice having him there by my side. It was a welcome distraction from the sadness in my heart. I spent the Mass not only speaking with God and my dad but also teaching Cort different things about the Mass proceedings, why and how we do things certain ways. At the end of the Mass we signed Cort up for the upcoming Youth Formation classes which begin in September. This is Cort's first year doing Catholic Formation Classes. I have many memories myself going to Sunday school each week. I hope Cort can have those same memories, the good, the bad and the "do I really have to go again?" They are fond memories and more importantly beliefs that I want to instill in my children. It is ironic that today, my dad's birthday was the day that I signed Cort up for Sunday school as my dad is Cort's Godfather. My dad loved telling stories of his days as an altar boy at St. Joseph's and I loved hearing those stories. I pray that I remember enough of those stories to repeat them to Cort someday. I held my dad's rosary today all through Mass and it made me feel closer to him, having it in my hands. I believe next time I am going to ask Father to bless it for me. My mom gave it to me while I was home this past month.
I didn't have a cake for my dad today but at midnight we did sing him happy birthday. Cort (who was the only one still awake with me) and I lit a candle and took it out into the backyard. We sang happy birthday to him and then let my dad blow out the candle. I kept watching my wind chimes, waiting for them to start swaying in the wind, waiting for my dad to blow the candle out. He finally did but not before I got three mosquito bites. That's okay. It was worth the wait to feel and see him blow the candle out.
I guess I just want to say Happy Birthday. I love you. You are missed and loved more than words can say. Every single day I feel that piece of my heart that is missing, the one that will be replaced to make my heart whole again when we are reunited in heaven. I hope you enjoyed your birthday celebration in heaven. I am sure George barked all through the singing of Happy Birthday and I hope you got the corner of the cake. I love you Daddy Monz.
Of course we had to go visit Pap-Pap while we were in Florida...
(August 13, 2011)
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